t’s got wheels… but they don’t roll straight,
Pullin’ left through produce like it’s fueled by hate.
It squeaks loud… like it’s holdin’ a grudge,
By aisle five I’m draggin’ it like courtroom sludge.
It’s got wheels… (but no ambition),
Rattlin’ through life with poor alignment and friction.
Express lane says fifteen, but Brenda’s got thirty-nine,
I came for toothpaste, now I’m losin’ my mind.
It’s got bags… piled higher than my shame,
Granola counts as “one,” but we all know that’s a game.
The cashier stares… like their soul’s left this plane,
Writing checks in public should require a license and some shame.
It’s got wheels… (and unresolved trauma),
Pivoting sideways like it’s fueled by my drama.
Self-checkout blinks “unexpected bagging zone,”
Like my last nerve, it’s about to disown.
Unexpected item? Yeah, that’s my hope and pride.
Produce code lookup? I’ll see y’all on the other side.
Help light’s flashing, staff’s out back…
Somewhere drinking coffee while I’m having a panic attack.
It’s got wheels… screamin’ all the way home,
Receipt so long it’s now a federal tome.
Survey says: “Would you shop here again?”
Ask me after therapy, maybe by then.
It’s got wheels… (but I’ve lost control),
Dragging my dignity across this linoleum soul.
Came for toothpaste, left with snacks and regret,
Modern life’s retail… and you ain’t escaped yet.
#ModernLife
#ObservationalHumor
#ShoppingFails
#GroceryStoreDrama
#ImpulseBuying
#ExpressLaneDrama
#SelfCheckoutBlues
#UnexpectedItemInBaggingArea
#LifeInScenes
#ConsumerChaos
#LifeInAmerica
#RetailTherapy
#CartOfShame
